“If it’s not a deal breaker build a bridge and get over it.” But how?
It can be very difficult to get over something. I have heard many things that I don’t think a person is ever going to get over. However we must attempt it and often we will be successful.
This is by no means all the ideas out there but a few.
1. Give yourself time and some space from it. It can take time to work through what happened, and it certainly can take some space. When we are away from things it can give us a softer perspective on the situation. I had a business partner for ten years who, I think screwed me over on a deal. It took three years and 10K miles apart to remember all the good times we had and I contacted the person and we have a different relationship now but it’s good.
2. Spend some time with supportive people. One of the biggest things you can do to make your life a better place it to have a couple of close friends. It is possible that one of those “friends” is the problem, that’s why you need a couple of them. Things do happen.
3. What is really important to you? Is this something that is a deal breaker or not. If so stand for what you believe and move on. If not grow up, put your big pants on and make up, build the bridge and get over it.
4. Write down what you have learned and put it on your wall of knowledge. Some people have pictures of their family on the wall. Others put reminders of how not to get in that situation again.
5. Get it off your chest. It can help to tell someone what you are feeling and thinking about the problem. Likely the other party is a good place to start. Do yourself a favor, sleep on it first. Going over there to give them a piece of your mind? Refer to #3 first.
6. Accept that you may never know the whole story or get all you want. You may think an apology will make it all go away, that’s unlikely. People and situations are driven by known motives, UN-known motives and randomness. Sometimes things just happen and it goes from there.
7. Be kind to yourself. I think this is the MOST important thing. I have told hundreds of people. Be compassionate to yourself, more than you think you should for much longer than you think you can. Life and situations can be very hard and unfair.
How does one be kind to themselves? If you saw a young child fall and hurt themselves and no other person was around what would you do? That would be a good start.
8. Forgive. I ask a lot of people what does forgiveness mean to you? The best I have heard is “To release the need for the past to be different.” It is what it is, now what? Build that bridge, life is short, get over it.
Be Well,
Ward Willison
allbodycare.com
Acupuncture & Other Natural Therapies
I got ideas for this post from http://singleparents.about.com/od/singleparentlife/tp/get-over-it-and-move-on.htm